| Here’s some additional information to help you decide whether or not you actually want to work with me (and I bear no ill will to anyone who decides that I'm not the kind of writer they want to work with - I have written comedy material for many internationally known entertainers, so I have developed a very thick skin when it comes to criticism of my work. Not just comedy writing, any work. Personal quote: “It’s only written in stone if I am rewriting the Ten Commandments for Moses.”) 1. I am a freelance writer because I love to write. I hate attending meetings, going to business lunches, appearing at industry functions, or attending awards shows. 2. As advertised, I’ll work on the first assignment I receive from you - print, radio, TV, whatever - with no obligation on your part. If you don’t like what I’ve written, you don’t owe me a dime. If you do like it, you pay me whatever you had budgeted as a writing fee for that project. 3. I do this because I love to write. 4. Once you decide to work with me - I’m hired. With a verbal agreement and a handshake. 5. I will sign any Confidentiality Agreement you care to present, if that will make you feel more comfortable. If you tell me a secret about you or your client, that secret will die with me. Trust is really a big part of what I have to sell (there are many good writers, but fewer trustworthy human beings). There isn’t enough money in the world for me to break that trust to anyone. 6. Outside of payment for my writing services, I can’t be bought, bribed, cajoled, threatened, or intimidated. I’ve worked with people in the entertainment industry who will have favorite parts of a writer’s anatomy broken if the writer breaks a trust. 7. I do this because I love to write. 8. Approval for all final copy of any project I undertake will be signed off by the person who hired me; all liability for content lies with him/her. 9. If my writing or production services are contracted for, I expect to be paid in full upon receipt and approval of whatever I have created (or, at least, within a mutually-agreed-to time frame). 10. I believe in being fair to all clients - whether they are mine or yours! As a supplier of services, I expect my work to be marked up to provide a fair profit for the person/company that hired me. 11. I do this because I love to write. 12. I will write under whatever guidelines you dictate - I’ll work from your creative concept, I’ll suggest a creative approach from your input. I’ll do whatever it takes to create a satisfied client for you. I will provide as many rewrites as are required. I do not charge for them. 13. I do this because I love to write. 14. I do not work for you. You do not introduce me to your client, staff, wife, husband, children, or barber as your “employee”. 15. You will never have to worry about my “stealing”, “pitching”, “soliciting”, etc. any of your clients that you trust me to be in personal contact with. In addition, if I believe that the possibility of a conflict of interest might arise, I will be the first to realize this and withdraw from the project. 16. I do this because I love to write. 17. Did I mention that I detest meetings and business lunches? If I have to attend meetings with you and/or your client (meetings that I feel are superfluous to our agreement), I will charge you my usual consulting fee — $150.00 per hour; travel time and expenses additional. 18. I keep scrupulously detailed records. 19. I will make suggestions outside of my area of involvement only to the person who hired me and only in private. 20. I’m not the best writer in the world, or even on my street. Maybe you won’t like what I write or how I write. However, I have enough satisfied clients who like what I do. Some even love what I do. Know why? Because I love to write! Well, after reading all of this you feel that you still have the inclination to offer me a writing assignment, let’s get together for a project briefing. I don’t charge for that. P.S.: Did I mention that I love to write? On my CONTACT ME! page, I list all the numbers and addresses where I can be reached to discuss a potential writing assignment (or to get the current time and temperature). If you can’t reach me at any of those, it means I’m dead. |
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| My Shameful Secret! |
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